A couple
weeks earlier, my Toastmasters club held a contest for best prepared speeches
and best table topics, the winners of which would be sent to the area contest,
and the winners of that would continue competing in larger arenas. I joined the
table topics competition, because impromptu speaking isn’t my strong suit. I
feared it and I knew if I wanted to improve, I needed to face my fears. I
competed and ended up getting third place… whew… at least I did it… the relief
of not having to move forward was comforting, even though it would have made me
go further outside of my comfort zone.
As award certificates were handed
out to the winners, a question was asked to the first place winner, “Will you
be able to attend the competition?” Wait… what? Why would you compete and not
go to the competition, that’s just silly… “Unfortunately no”, What?!... The
question was posed to the second place winner, “No, I have other plans”,
WHAT?!?!... Then I was asked the same question, my mind was spinning, a third
place winner going to the area contest?! I wanted to come up with excuses, but
what came out of my mouth was agreeing to compete… I was doomed…
I spent the next two weeks
practicing off and on for the area contest, but practicing for impromptu
speaking is a fairly difficult thing to do, as you have no idea what question
you are going to be asked. I tried to prepare for all the questions I could imagine
that I might be asked, but my confidence wasn’t improving very much.
The morning came when I was to
compete, and I was fairly nervous to say the least. I constantly tried to
reframe my thoughts, trying to think of reasons why I shouldn’t be nervous as a
third place winner going into a competition against winners in subject that I’m
not very good at. Eventually I calmed myself down by telling myself that
winning didn’t matter, that my life would continue on just as it was even if I
lost. In fact, I prepared to lose and that was a calming feeling, because it
allowed me to go out there and have fun.
Fast forward about half an hour to
me sitting in a small room with the other contestants. The rules had been
explained to us, we each drew a number to determine our order, and now we
waited for each of our turns to be called into the main room. I looked around
and saw a lot of veteran speakers there chit-chatting and smiling as if they
had done this a million times before. There were a couple of individuals who
seems new and their nervousness was reassuring, as my anxiety kept threatening
to flare up. Deep breathing was my friend, keeping me semi-relaxed as person
after person got called out. It was down to three of us when my name was
called. I got up, with my heart in my throat, and lead to a doorway. I waited
for the signal for me to enter the room. My head swam, half filled with
nervousness, half filled with thoughts trying to calm myself down. It was time…
“Compare and contrast lessons that
you have learned”… as I stood there, my mind racing to find some sort of answer,
I had almost given up. Then, out of the blue an idea popped into my head. I
began to talk about what I had learned about public speaking, I had no idea
where I was going to go with it, but I allowed the speech to flow through me,
throwing in jokes that a second before weren’t even in my mind. It was an
amazing feeling to let go. I was actually having fun!
As I finished up, the audience
applauded my effort, I sat down, and the next contestant was called forward. I
tried to pay attention to the remaining contestants, but I was miles away, lost
in the glow of facing my fears and coming through victorious.
I want to say that I won the
competition, that by facing my fears I had proven that I was worthy of
recognition. That would make a fitting ending to the story… so I’ll tell you
just that… I WON!!! I actually won! I was floored; no words could have
expressed how overwhelmed I felt. Not only did I face my fears, I won a trophy
too!
This just goes to show, that no
matter how nervous we are, no matter how much we doubt our skills, we can’t count
ourselves out. We all have the potential within us to be winners, if we are
willing to compete. The only things that stand in our way are the stories that
we tell ourselves as to why we can’t win. We can, trust me on that one.
Until next time,
-
Lance
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